Adios Amigos!

The Day has FINALLY COME! 

Tomorrow is my farewell, and then Wednesday is the Big day when  I enter the MTC. 

Everyone keeps asking me- "Are you nervous?" "I bet you're sort of freaking out right now right?"

But I can honestly say, no. Not even slightly. Not nervous. Not afraid. Nothing but excitement and readiness for this new adventure. 

I'm not going on a mission because it's a fun adventure, granted every thing in my life is a fun adventure. High school was a wild adventure, College was an insanely fun adventure that caused me to grow and change and figure out the hard way who I really was and what I was all about, and thank heavens for that. Though I think I'm a little bit harder on myself than was due, but still. I grew and changed and now i'm ready to get going on this next new adventure. I've got an intense testimony packed in an insane personality who can't go ten minutes without some fun and adventure. 

My Mission email address is 

Allie.gardner@myldsmail.net.

I would love to hear from any of you! 

Adios Amigos! 

Ending Credits

My life right now feels like the ending scene of a movie. 

The loose ends are being tied. 

The mistakes, struggles and hard times are reflected on, and although you can't change them now there's a sense of excepting what happened in the past and allowing closure.

The people that will most definitely appear in the sequel all seem to stand out.

and though not everything is resolved, there's a sense of it all being okay regardless. 

I'm not going to fluff or downplay anything here-- So beware of honesty. 

Summer Semester

I started school at BYU a clueless, immature high school graduate, ready to take on the world as if it was a stage. Because it was. The world was my stage whether I wanted to accept it or not. I loved the position of center stage- no matter what stage that was. At the beginning of my college experience, people found out that I could sing. I found myself hoarded by admirers- mostly male. I ate it up. I loved the attention. I'll be honest. Until I fully realized just how skin deep- or vocal deep it was. As far as I could see, they only liked me because of my pretty voice, my blonde hair and my bubbly personality. It really bothered me.  I had no idea who I was. I liked to think that I did- but in all actuality- I had no clue. 

But it was warm outside, friendships were made quickly, and it was all fun and games. 

I learned a lot summer semester. I deepened. Softened. I swallowed a little bit of pride- but not all of it. I learned that I really did want to serve a mission- that wasn't just a far off dream in the distance. It was real. I was meant to go on a mission and that was my life. And when that discovery was made- I made it loud. It was a big deal to me. I told everyone my countdown. I made certain that it was made known. That totally could have come off as self righteous, or whatnot, I recognize that. It could have been easily confused for that by those surrounding me at that time in my life. But inside- I had won the battle of what I felt like I needed to do- and recognizing if it was truly from God.

Summer semester, I spent all of my time with my roommates. I grew to love, and still love those girls. It was a time that I will really cherish in all of our lives when it was easy and wonderful. I wish that the rest of it could have been that way- but I will always cherish that special time and hold on to those memories. 

Me the day I packed my car and moved out. 

 Roommate Temple Trip 

 Sierra and Me after a concert 

Some of the Highlights 

Fall Semester

I won't sugar coat this at all- Fall semester was the hardest time in my life .I hated it.  I was thrown into personal crisis, as well as dealing with external crisis as well. The schooling was stressful, the winter was coming, relationships were strained, and I was all over the place. I did, and said, and was a lot of things that I definitely regret and feel very sorry for. I feel as if I almost went into numb autopilot. 

A lot of what happened fall semester- I have blurred from memory. But much of it comes up now and again and I have to consciously decide how I want to react and handle it. 

I have come to realize over the course of this year that the person I was when this all began isn't me. The mistakes I made, the things I said, the struggles I had- are not who I am today. I learned more from last semester than any other part of my life. 

I learned that oven mitts are exceptionally flammable. I learned what an exceptional bishop was (shout out to you Bishop Sybrowski). I learned that in order to succor and help someone else - you can't forget about taking care of you too. I learned that people change but that's okay because they're on their own path- you just have to love them and accept them for who they are. I learned that agency is a real thing- people will choose what people will choose and that's great. I learned that it's okay- even awesome- if people don't like you. You don't have to win everyone. It's okay if someone has a bad opinion of you. You don't have to go about trying to win people over. Correcting misconceptions of who you are isn't your job. You just be the best you you can be and move forward.  Last semester- I was so doggone sleep deprived, had so much inner turmoil with unrealistic expectations of what I could achieve that I am sure anyone who would see me would think I was this inward turned, non-expressive, anti-social person on the one hand- and a total spaz, attention seeking airhead when I did have an occasional burst of energy. And you know what? I can't fix any of those misconceptions of me. I can't go back and change each person who saw me into seeing who I really am. But I don't have to. We live. We learn. We have bad days. We're imperfect. We make mistakes. But that's part of life. 

 I learned what a best friend truly is (Lydia, this is your shout out- you knew it was coming.) 

I learned that a best friend loves you no matter what. (Sees your flaws, sees your insecurities, sees your struggles, sees your weaknesses, sees your strengths, sees where your pride lies, sees what makes you tick- and still loves you despite all of that.) A best friend laughs with you even when sometimes you just feel like crying. A best friend lightens the mood, doesn't let you take yourself too seriously. A best friend even sometimes says "Stop it. You're not teaching mission prep today, you've got too much on your plate, go home, go to bed You don't get to say no- Just go now." I  will never forget how much I needed that day- and how much I needed to hear that very statement. (thank you Lydia) A best friend just knows when you're having an off day. Gives the best hugs. And when Graham Canyon ice cream is the only remedy- You can finish off a full carton with no shame whatsoever. 

I learned that visiting teaching is a miracle, and  I love it. 

Home teachers make a huge difference. 

It was the little rays of sunshine- the random acts of kindness that kept me going. 

Seeing Shayla wheel around campus with a huge smile on her face, always willing to offer a hug, a word of advice or an occasional delicious "no-no" (little pieces of heaven she makes).

Lydia being not only my voice of reason, but the soft heart end of it all as well. ( You don't give your heart enough credit- you have a big, sweet heart too you know) Always to the rescue. Always checking in, checking up, and offering kindness. 

Mike randomly showing up at my door to make me hot chocolate, just because. 

James and Charles- for just being there. 

It's such a relief to look back on all of the darkness that that time was for me- and seeing all of these lights that helped me through it all. 

(This is a lot longer post than intended- but considering I don't think very many people actually know about or read my blog anyway and this is therapeutic- no shame in a very long post) 

I could go on for 12 pages about everything that I learned Fall semester. But the truth of the matter is- it was hard. It was long. It was painstakingly difficult. I did a lot of things wrong. I made a lot of mistakes. I did a lot of things right. I followed promptings that needed to be followed. I made leaps in bounds in some areas, I fell exceptionally short in others. But that time of my life is over- I glean the lessons that I can from it and I move forward having gained a new perspective, and fresh life view. 

 Mckenna And I taking awkward photos

 awkward family photo

Football game! 

Winter Semester

Although winter semester had its' own trials, It was overall an amazing semester. I made memories and friendships and learned more lessons I will never forget. At the beginning of the semester, I had all these goals. I had decided that I was going to be perfect. I was going to be my goal person and be as near to perfection as I could possibly imagine for myself. It was only over the course of the semester that I realized not only was that not possible- but not expected of me either. When the Savior said "Be perfect", He didn't necessarily mean I wasn't allowed to make mistakes. No- quite the opposite. You cannot become perfect without making mistakes. Learning from mistakes is how we progress. You also cannot fully gain a testimony of the Savior's Atonement until you've used it. You can't use it,(at least a portion of the savior's atonement) until you have done something wrong. When he said, "Be Perfect" he also meant, be Whole. Complete. Firm in your conversion in Christ. 

Finally, a lot of the lessons that Heavenly Father had been trying to teach me all year sank in. 

I learned to let go. To have fun. To not take myself too seriously. That the simple daily things like Scripture study, heartfelt prayer, and attending your church meetings with all of your heart- not just with mundane  routine- is the key to happy life. Loving others. accepting them for who they are, regardless of your personal preference or opinions makes all the difference. You get what you put into things. If you work really hard- the results come. If you work on reaching out, getting accquainted with others, getting involved- you will succeed. If you put a lot into your school work- you will get a lot out. We tend to get what we seek for most in life. 

I learned that God is in the little details. That he inspires us to do things, say things, and go places to help influence and love one another. 

I learned this semester that the temple is the most sacred, holy place in the world. I would go there every day if I could. I learned that family history work not only isn't boring- but is actually really addicting, fun, and makes a huge difference in the way your life goes. 

I learned that a positive attitude is a remedy for just about anything. 

I learned that exercise is the cure to a bad day. 

I became an Andy Grammer fan. 

I learned that I really LOVE vegtables. 

I changed my major 3 times. 

I learned to keep a planner- and actually use it. 

I learned how to play the piano for reals. 

I realized a clean kitchen and a bed made reduces anxiety. 

I learned that the snooze button is my worst enemy.

I learned I am not only a morning person- but in fact, I do better on assignments and tests if I take them in the morning. 

I learned that during the hours of 3-5 in the afternoon, a specific activity must be planned for me because if I decide to wing it- nothing gets done. 

I learned to budget. 

I'm not actually lactose intolerant- too much sugar gives me stomach aches- not milk. 

Amy whiting is the coolest roommate in the world. 

Having a hole in your eardrum is an unpleasant experience. 

Having a best guy friend that you can laugh with, sing with, dance around and be completely insane with, fan girl over obscure bands, go to concerts with, run away and just get away with, have insane tickle fights, eat Peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwiches, have dance parties, watch movies, silly faces, weird voices and all other socially unacceptable actions that fall under that category alongside- is the best thing that could ever happen to a girl.  

ASL is basically the coolest language- ( I haven't learned spanish yet- so I can't love it more than ASL yet) 

Mexico Bound

Finally, after just around 500 days of counting down and anticipating and waiting. I opened my mission call.  February 12th, 2014  I was called to serve in the MEXICO CANCUN MISSION. I enter the Provo Missionary Training Center on June 25th, 2014 Preparing to share the gospel in the Spanish Language. I couldn't be more excited to embark on this incredible adventure. It has been long prepared for, sought after and anticipated. 
I can't wait to be able to get out there and raise my voice along with thousands of other missionaries and Latter-Day Saints throughout the world to bear my testimony that Jesus Truly IS the Christ. The Son of God. He did come to earth to atone for each and every one of our sins-- from the tiniest of the tiny faults to the biggest offenses we can possibly commit. I can't wait to share this message of Hope and Freedom to everyone I meet in Cancun. I know that the winds will rage, the sun will be hot, the opposition will be great, but I will go out there and work my very hardest, love the people to capacity, and return home the woman that God intended me to be. 

My Decision To Serve

UPDATED: February 2nd, 2014

Today has been a day that has been LONG awaited for months and months and months. It has been fasted about, prayed for, and longed for for years but has officially been counted down since 488 days ago when President Monson gave the historic announcement that direction had been given from the lord to "Hasten the Work" in it's time- including the lowering of the missionary age from 19 to 18 for boys and 21 to 19 for girls. 
In life, everyone remembers where they were when certain occasions happened. The event that has been pressed into my memory the most was in October of 2012. I was at rehearsal for Dinner theater  at my high school when my best friend BURST through the door and told me that the mission age had been lowered. Obviously, I collapsed in tears. 
When I was 13 years old, I was very against serving a mission for some reason. I was dead set on being the stereotype of BYU- getting married when I was fresh into college and living a blissful life. There was no way I was waiting until I was 21 just to serve a mission. However, clearly the Lord had other things in mind for me. I remember having these feelings that I would serve a mission, being sarcastic and sassy to the Lord in saying NO, I WILL NOT GO. But upon further reflection- I realized that it was definitely not a good idea to push against the Lord in anything. So I changed my heart, and aligned my will with his. 
I remember seeing wonderful examples of sister missionaries that had gone before me. In the time that I was having those feelings, Cecily Lucero, An ANGEL of a person had just returned home from her mission, and spoke to us in Young Womens about the blessings of missionary service. It really made an impression on me and solidified my decision to serve.  My cousins- Sharlie and Missy had served. Cecily's sister, among others also answered the Lord's call to serve a mission. I so looked up to those women because they were crucial in allowing me to trust the Lord and move forward in my decision to serve a mission. 

The Day has FINALLY arrived.  My Papers have been submitted. They are in Process. I should have a mission call in about  a week and a half- I can't stop crying, but happy crying, I feel so blessed to have grown up with the knowledge of such a wonderful gospel. I love it so much. It means Everything to me. I don't care where I am called- It's not the WHERE that matters. It is the WHO and the WHAT. All that matters to me is that I am teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those who don't know that God is our loving Heavenly Father, He wants us to be Happy, and He wants us, His Children, to Come Home. God doesn't want to just save a few of us. He wants ALL of us to come home- He has provided a way to make that possible. I get to go represent Jesus Christ and invite others to come unto him, and to someday be able to Go HOME... which really- is all I want. I want my family to remain faithful, through trial, through persecution, through tumult, through pain, through whatever we are called to bear. I want them to stand firm. I want them to testify boldly, and let whatever buffetings and persecutions this world wants to throw at us- Come. I believe in Christ,- so really- what else matters. I will have a family that is sealed together for eternity. I will be married for time and all eternity someday. But first, in order to earn that privilege, I want to go and help others find that same happiness that I know I will  enjoy someday. The process has begun. I can't wait to see what adventures lay in store for me. 

 Sister Missionary in the Missionary Training Videos for the new MTC.

 100 days left countdown! 

 Mckenna and I wrapped in the 100 days chain! 

I am practically jumping for joy. I KNOW  that the GOSPEL is true. Jesus Christ sits at the head of everything that goes on in this church. Everything here- prepares us for a greater good in heaven. I can't wait to share the message that my Father Lives, and He Loves me.

I will help move this work along. I will not be silent. I will not be still.

I will go out there- no matter where I am sent- to the furthest jungle in africa- to the frozen abyss of Russia,to the hot hot sun in Texas or Arizona- to the middle of nowhere island somewhere in the furthest reaches of the ocean- to the cities- the suburbs- the ghettos- the forest surrounded hills- the plains- the little tank towns of the south- lands with great cathedrals- or maybe even to the furthest reaches of Asia. No matter where  I am called to serve- I will go and give it my 100%. I will not have any ties, any distractions, or anything holding me back. I will go Worthily, pure, valiant and strong- and although I know I am far from ready to go be an amazing missionary- Whom the Lord Calls, He qualifies. 

And I can't wait to be shaped in the woman that He wants me to be. 

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

"Silence in the Face of Such Calamity is a Sin"

I view that day when the Lord will come to us again as a very wonderful day. There will be an overwhelming feeling of love  for God, for our families, for our loved ones and friends. What is truly important in life will be illuminated. Greed, selfishness, doubt, violence, hate, and pain will all be abolished and  we will again be reunited with the Savior that made it possible for us to be redeemed, to live with God in a state of never ending happiness. That is a day worth living for. Peace. Hope. Love. Resurrection. Freedom from pain, sickness, insecurity, disability. To be honored for the squeaky clean, and silently noble lives we have lived from day to day, month to month, and year to year.
I know that in my life, there will be so much opposition to my beliefs, to the way I live my life, and to my testimony. I know that I, and other members who choose to "Stand as a Witness of God, at all times, and in all things and in all places" will be hated by many, persecuted, lied about, discriminated, and punished for our beliefs. Yet, I am not frightened, intimidated, or worried about the darkening world in which we live.
I know that many, especially in the years to come, may misunderstand my beliefs, feel threatened by them, and will strongly disagree with my personal viewpoints on Human Rights, Marriage, Morals, Substance abuse, the way we worship God, our view of commandments, what we do with His Sabbath day, modesty, integrity and the little day to day things on which we will not see eye to eye.
 We have been blessed with the rights to voice our opinions publicly, to have a right to worship as we please, and a right to live our lives in which ever way we choose. This in fact, is evidence of God's love for us. He has given us the amazing gift of agency, of choice, to decide whether we will choose Him, or not. Without choice- there is no good or bad. Without good or bad, there is no choice.

I love the gift of agency. It is powerful. It makes me strong. It gives me hope- that someday my weaknesses may also become strengths. I will use the incredible gift of Choice that God has given me to stay on His side. To uphold His Gospel, and His Church upon the Earth.

The storms will rage, the calamities will come, the opinions will bite, and the trials will blow without stopping. But I will live up to the powerful declaration that I and millions of other girls like me have recited weekly for our youthful years- that We are-

Daughters of our Heavenly Father Who LOVES us,

and we LOVE Him.

 

We WILL STAND as WITNESSES of God at ALL times, and in ALL things, and in ALL places.

 

as we STRIVE to LIVE the young women values which are

 

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Worth

Knowledge

CHOICE and accountability

Good Works

Integrity

and

Virtue

 

we WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants

receive the ordinances of the temple,

 

AND ENJOY THE BLESSINGS OF EXALTATION.

 

Those most precious blessings of exaltation will begin the day that the Lord again returns upon the Earth. I don't know when that will be. But until that day, come persecution, come discrimination, come hardship, come disagreement, come trial, I will CHOOSE to serve the Lord, to uphold His ordained apostles, prophets, seers, and revelators.

 

I will Not be silent. I will Not be still.

 

Part of being a witness- requires us to open our mouths- and speak.

 

 



A Journal Entry, An Inspirational Person, and A Whole Lot of Memories

 

 

This Right here ^ Is Matthew Scott Everett.

 

Right now, He is serving a full time mission in Mexico City West.

 

 

I am home for the Thanksgiving Holidays and was going through my bedroom, reminiscing the good old days of high school and before. I decided to go back and read through my journals and look through all of my pictures of my senior year of high school. Along with dance photos, old mic tape from shows that had somehow ended up rolled up and preserved in my journal, and many a crazy high school memory, I came across countless journal entries about my best friend (who is handsomely posing above)

 

I realized that I never fully publicly described all of the things that I learned from him, nor did I, beyond a short facebook post the day he left, describe how inspirational, and wonderful Matt is. I decided it was probably time that I fully express how appreciative I am of him and his example to me.

 

I sat down and thought of the top 10 things that I learned from Matt which are as follows.

 

 

10. God puts people in our path for a purpose. He has a hand in the way that they meet, and knows when is the proper time to bring two friends together.

There were so many ways where the lord guided this friendship. Both of us were going through some overwhelming times. He had just recovered from surgery, and received a mission call, and I had just quit my drama program that I loved as a leap of faith and following prompting  that left me with a lot of lonely days and hard times- granted I never regretted it, but that's an entirely different story of it's own. Heavenly Father knew we both needed a pal to confide in. Through a series of little miracles and tender mercies Matt and I met just in time to be that pal that the other needed. Matt was always very quick to attribute "coincidence" to God, and His hand in our lives and in our friendship.

 

(The tennis balls we played with the day we met. so fun!)

 

9. My Bowling Score Doesn't Determine my Worth- I am awful at bowling. I'll face it. The thought of a strike was far beyond anything I ever in my wildest dreams could have imagined. (except for that one fluke time when I got like 3, right Nathan?) Although I epically failed, Matt was always very encouraging that it my worth didn't depend on my bowling score- or any other successes or failures for that matter. He was always very encouraging, believed in me, and told me to get back up whenever I failed at anything in life.



 

8. The Goofy Movie really is the best. Nuf said.

 

7. Rivals make the best of friends.

 

Cats trump Indians. Always. But if you were to ask him- he'd say Indians trump kitties any day. We couldn't be more different in our school associations. High school rivals. College rivals. You name it. We're rivals.  It was always entertaining to poke fun at our rivalry and laugh that neither of us ever would have anticipated our best friend being a die hard UTE/COUGAR or BRAVE/CAT. But what I respected so much about Matt was that he always knew when to stop. We both have witnessed so much classless bashing on both sides- and Matt, though always first to poke fun, was always considerate and classy in his teasing. Such a relief from all the classless bashing that goes on. Sportsmanship was one of Matt's best qualities.

 

6. So What if the Cookies get burned? The dough's the good part right?

 

One evening, we decided we would make a batch of cookies. (Though, mostly on my part- I just like the dough. And we probably had enough to feed a missionary farewell. but that's besides the point) He was baking, I was writing songs for Nathan about how stupid junior high girls are since he had a couple mean ones on his case. We got in a pretty awesome flour fight. Although the cookies epically failed- the process of making them was a blast. He always made the best of every situation, and found a way to make every experience worthwhile. He made me want to be even more of an optimist because even if we epically failed at whatever we planned- we still found ways to make it an adventure.



 

5,4,3,2,:

 

The last things that Matt taught me can be found in one single journal entry I wrote shortly after he left for the MTC. It pretty much sums it all up. (which is what sparked the idea to do this post in the first place.)

 

" Matt  taught me to be selfless. Matt helped me to love myself, and recognize the daughter of God that I am daily, and to use that to help others. Matt taught me what it was to love others and yourself unconditionally. Matt taught me patience. Matt showed me gentleness, kindness, and christlike love. Matt taught me that Disney movies are pretty much the bees knees. Matt helped me learn how to find answers to my prayers about the simple things in life. Matt taught me that the goofy movie is probably the best movie ever made. Matt taught me that the temple is the ultimate goal. Matt helped me to recognize the divine hand in my daily life. Matt showed me what it was to be a true best friend. Matt introduced me to Daniel Beck- and that alone is something to be notably thanked for. He rocks. Matt taught me that even boys will interpretive dance to Taylor Swift if they're manly. Matt taught me adventure. Matt taught me to never settle for content- strive for happy. Matt helped me realize that football really isn't so bad.

Matt's humility was one of his most outstanding characteristics. He was humble about his accomplishments, always attributed his successes that he had had to Heavenly Father, and was very sweet about everything he did.

And although he beat himself to a pulp at times, He taught me what it was to be mighty in faith, to rely on the Lord for everything ,and to keep moving forward. His example is one that I will never ever be able to repay. I know he his going to be an outstanding missionary, and I will be forever thankful for the wonderful friendship that he has given me. He will be missed, but I am so proud of him for his missionary service."

 

 

1. Matt Loves The Savior.

The most important, most notable, and most inspiring thing about Matt is his love for the Savior. From his favorite song, "Gentle Savior" to his missionary letters wherein he testifies of the savior and how his imperfections can be replaced with strengths (Ether 12:27) through Christ. He has more faith than any I have ever seen. He willingly hands himself to the Lord and allows himself to be molded and shaped into what the Lord wants of him. He tried his hardest to emulate the Savior in every way- and was very successful at it.

He is merciful, charitable and caring just as the Savior. I cannot even count all of the times when he would come over when I was sick and keep me company, gave me blessings, and cared for me when I wasn't feeling well. And although he is far from perfect, as we all are, what matters to me, is that he gave it his all. He had a strong relationship with Christ and allowed that to shine through all of his actions.

I am grateful for his example that strengthened my testimony so much by him sharing his testimony through his daily actions.

 

 



(skype snapshot I took while we studied scriptures)

 

(The Gang)

 

 

 

So I'll wrap it up here.

 

Along with thousands of memories, hours of laughter, and gallons of hot cocoa, Matt was an inspiration and an excellent example to me.

I am so glad he is doing so well out in the mission field and I know he will continue to influence lives as he brings others to Christ out there.

Just felt like I needed to fully express my appreciation for such an amazing friend.

"Because I knew You- I have been Changed for Good."- Wicked